I go through periods where I hate nursing a toddler. It's way different than a baby. Sure he gets calories and nutrition but it's mostly comfort. Additionally I equate it to slim fast or ensure because it's a meal replacement and Evan is satiated at dinner time but then hungry all night.
So here is where we are. I nurse him when we get home after work cuz he is usually both stressed and misses me. It's ok and I don't hate feeding him then. I don't like feeding him every ten minutes because he wants it. When I'm off work with him, I'm an all you can eat buffet. I've finally started saying no to him and telling him milk is for night time and nap time. Then I offer him something to drink or eat. Today was one of the first times it worked.
I have tried and failed at night weaning. But we are slowly making progress there. He drinks milk for a bit then I cut him off and comfort him to sleep. He no longer nurses to sleep and that's a huge victory.
Only time will tell but weaning has officially begun. Now instead of the awkward you are still breastfeeding conversation, I can say I'm weaning.
Showing posts with label extended breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label extended breastfeeding. Show all posts
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Extended Breastfeeding, Attachment Parenting and the Working Mom
I like to think of myself as a pretty normal mom. But breastfeeding a rather large toddler, I can see why people can see why it is extreme. Attachment parenting is hot right now, I have yet to read Mayim Bialik's book Beyond the Sling, but I follow her blog at kveller. I love her, I mean who doesn't love Blossom and Amy Farrah Fowler? I like that she nurses her son beyond age 3. That is something I can see happening if Evan has his way. I agree with baby wearing, I just got a new carrier today, I was geeked and tried it on while Evan slept. I am so excited to back carry him now! It goes to 45 lbs so I can carry him til he's 4 if he wants. I also cosleep with Evan, but that came out of necessity rather than parenting style. This is where my similarities with Ms. Mayim end. She and so many others in the attached parenting camp also babyled wean, don't vaccinate, practice elimination communication, home-school, eat organically (especially vegan). All things I don't do. So does that make me a half attached parent?
I feel really strongly about vaccinations. Plain and simple, I don't want to see my child sick or hurting, especially if it could have been prevented.
The conversion of my new sling and the TIME magazine issue that comes out tomorrow has lead me to air my opinions and grievances. I subscribe to much of the attachment parenting theory, but from what I can tell, the typical attached parent has the luxury and fortitude to stay at home. What about us working parents? There is one piece in particular that struck a nerve with me. The author compares attached kids to daycare kids. I do the best for Evan but he is cared for 9 hours of each day by someone else and he spends over an hour and a half in the car commuting with me. Comparing the benefits of having an attached child to that of a child who attends daycare really labels us working moms as bad mommies. I am not a bad mom. I am doing the best I can.
My son is well loved and well cared for, even if I'm not doing the caring 24/7. I am supporting our little family and providing the best possible life for him that I can. The controversy over attachment parenting has once again striked up the mommy war of the SAHM and WOHM. Neither side is better. (I hope that squashed it.) I just know that at the end of the day, my son knows I love him and that I'll do anything for him. Even if that anything is carrying him on my back or feeding his giant self mommy milk... in public.
I feel really strongly about vaccinations. Plain and simple, I don't want to see my child sick or hurting, especially if it could have been prevented.
The conversion of my new sling and the TIME magazine issue that comes out tomorrow has lead me to air my opinions and grievances. I subscribe to much of the attachment parenting theory, but from what I can tell, the typical attached parent has the luxury and fortitude to stay at home. What about us working parents? There is one piece in particular that struck a nerve with me. The author compares attached kids to daycare kids. I do the best for Evan but he is cared for 9 hours of each day by someone else and he spends over an hour and a half in the car commuting with me. Comparing the benefits of having an attached child to that of a child who attends daycare really labels us working moms as bad mommies. I am not a bad mom. I am doing the best I can.
My son is well loved and well cared for, even if I'm not doing the caring 24/7. I am supporting our little family and providing the best possible life for him that I can. The controversy over attachment parenting has once again striked up the mommy war of the SAHM and WOHM. Neither side is better. (I hope that squashed it.) I just know that at the end of the day, my son knows I love him and that I'll do anything for him. Even if that anything is carrying him on my back or feeding his giant self mommy milk... in public.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Extended Breastfeeding: Go the F*ck to sleep.
You just nursed for 2 hours, you're not hungry get off me, now go the fuck to sleep.
I wish the book included that line, but it seriously does not describe the worst night Evan and I have had in his young life. Early this week, his 16th tooth came in and according to baby books, it should be smooth sailing. When he is not teething, he sleeps well. (He can even sleep from 10 to 5 without milk.) I was so delighted to no longer have hour long night nursing sessions and looking forward to better sleep.
Insert, growth spurt and no nap. Well I'm not 100% sure but judging by his appetite for both food and milk, overall crankiness and poor sleep, I came to the conclusion. Also when my child does not nap, he sleeps too early.
Despite the 2 hour super late nap, he did go to bed at his normal time. Then at 12:00 all hell broke loose. Last night my child was attached to the boob for 6 hours with 15 minute breaks. At one point I turned on TV so he could be entertained while I hid my boobs. I needed to sleep, but what I really wanted to do is take a shower. I wanted him to sleep long enough for me to sneak out of bed and wash my hair. Plan did not work and I ended up taking him to the shower with me so I didn't look like a dirty wreck at work today.
Some moment of clarity made me get him dressed at 5 am since we were already up. He finally went to sleep after the shower. So I had one hour of rest.
The poor guy wanted to sleep in this morning, mommy doesn't care. Time for you to sleep in a crib. (In a perfect world)
I wish the book included that line, but it seriously does not describe the worst night Evan and I have had in his young life. Early this week, his 16th tooth came in and according to baby books, it should be smooth sailing. When he is not teething, he sleeps well. (He can even sleep from 10 to 5 without milk.) I was so delighted to no longer have hour long night nursing sessions and looking forward to better sleep.
Insert, growth spurt and no nap. Well I'm not 100% sure but judging by his appetite for both food and milk, overall crankiness and poor sleep, I came to the conclusion. Also when my child does not nap, he sleeps too early.
The calm before the storm.
Despite the 2 hour super late nap, he did go to bed at his normal time. Then at 12:00 all hell broke loose. Last night my child was attached to the boob for 6 hours with 15 minute breaks. At one point I turned on TV so he could be entertained while I hid my boobs. I needed to sleep, but what I really wanted to do is take a shower. I wanted him to sleep long enough for me to sneak out of bed and wash my hair. Plan did not work and I ended up taking him to the shower with me so I didn't look like a dirty wreck at work today.
Some moment of clarity made me get him dressed at 5 am since we were already up. He finally went to sleep after the shower. So I had one hour of rest.
The poor guy wanted to sleep in this morning, mommy doesn't care. Time for you to sleep in a crib. (In a perfect world)
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Adventures in extended breastfeeding: Mil? Get baby boob.
Evan uses a lot of sentences now. But mostly they are ones he learns from us and they are conversational. He has the typical Look over there and I did it. And do you want this? And my favorite... Bite? Try it. But today he put together a sentence himself, well it was more of a question followed by a command. "Mil? Get baby boob." He couldn't have been clearer. Usually he just says "Mil" or Milkie, when he wants milk.
Since I made my decision to breastfeed I have heard opinions and "suggestions" that when they are old enough to ask for it then it's time to wean. Evan not only asks for it, he often just gets it himself. He sit in my lap and pull up my shirt and nurse. Now we have entered a new phase of breastfeeding.
Today, Evan has not left my side, and he has nursed like crazy. He might be teething, I always think he's teething when he nurses like crazy, either that or some developmental milestone, growth spurt, or illness. When we are home on the weekends, he nurses so much that he barely eats food. It does leave me physically drained sometimes, but it is what it is.
When I began, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed for at least a year. I was going to try to wean at the year mark but we have gone well beyond that. Lactation information tells you there is no age that you should wean and that breastfeeding should continue as long as mutually desired. Sometimes the feeling is not mutual, but we joke that if it were up to Evan he would breastfeed well into his twenties. So here we are at 17 months and still going strong. I feel like his need for breastmilk is stronger than ever, actually.
Since I no longer pump and he is not with me most of the day, he makes up for lost time at night and on the weekends. This is called, reverse cycling. It's where a baby will satisfy most of his milk needs at night to make up for lack of milk during the day. I think it happens to a lot of working moms. I was told by one ped that I shouldn't give into it and he needs his sleep, and I should not be guilted into nursing all night. Too late. He will probably nurse all night until we officially wean and I don't see that happening anytime soon. Sure he needs sleep but he also needs milk. Could he survive without it? Sure. But that is not to say that my milk is not filling a nutritional void and he needs the calcium and whatever other nutrients and antibodies that are in my milk. (I really don't know what the nutrient content is, I'm a scientist but not that kind of scientist.)
I don't know how long we will go and I feel like this is just the beginning of extended breastfeeding. He still needs mama's milk even if its just for comfort. But we all have comfort food.
Since I made my decision to breastfeed I have heard opinions and "suggestions" that when they are old enough to ask for it then it's time to wean. Evan not only asks for it, he often just gets it himself. He sit in my lap and pull up my shirt and nurse. Now we have entered a new phase of breastfeeding.
Today, Evan has not left my side, and he has nursed like crazy. He might be teething, I always think he's teething when he nurses like crazy, either that or some developmental milestone, growth spurt, or illness. When we are home on the weekends, he nurses so much that he barely eats food. It does leave me physically drained sometimes, but it is what it is.
When I began, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed for at least a year. I was going to try to wean at the year mark but we have gone well beyond that. Lactation information tells you there is no age that you should wean and that breastfeeding should continue as long as mutually desired. Sometimes the feeling is not mutual, but we joke that if it were up to Evan he would breastfeed well into his twenties. So here we are at 17 months and still going strong. I feel like his need for breastmilk is stronger than ever, actually.
Since I no longer pump and he is not with me most of the day, he makes up for lost time at night and on the weekends. This is called, reverse cycling. It's where a baby will satisfy most of his milk needs at night to make up for lack of milk during the day. I think it happens to a lot of working moms. I was told by one ped that I shouldn't give into it and he needs his sleep, and I should not be guilted into nursing all night. Too late. He will probably nurse all night until we officially wean and I don't see that happening anytime soon. Sure he needs sleep but he also needs milk. Could he survive without it? Sure. But that is not to say that my milk is not filling a nutritional void and he needs the calcium and whatever other nutrients and antibodies that are in my milk. (I really don't know what the nutrient content is, I'm a scientist but not that kind of scientist.)
I don't know how long we will go and I feel like this is just the beginning of extended breastfeeding. He still needs mama's milk even if its just for comfort. But we all have comfort food.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)