My son is not a bully

Evan got picked on this weekend. He handled it better than most adults would. There we were playing at the park when kid that was probably older but was also littler than Evan came pushing past him on the slide. Chase ensued because finally there was a person his size with the same physical capabilities.  -Let me explain, Evan always wants to play with the bigger kids because they run around more than kids his age- 

Evan wanted to play with this child, I let them play then I started to notice subtle control issues, he wouldn't get off the bottom of the slide or he would climb up while Evan waited and waited at the top. At one point I just let Evan go down the slide and caught him before he could knock the kid off. (Much to the chagrin of his parents.) But my kid waited for a whole minute at the top of a big slide, which is like an eternity to a toddler.When Evan finally changed his mind about playing with kid, he was sitting at the top of the slide waiting for me to let him know I was at the bottom to catch him, the bratty kid climbed over Evan and stepped on his had. Then of course he sat at the bottom. I let Evan down the slide and took him over to another part of the park. He was sitting and playing nicely when the kid came over and stood right in front of him. Instead of retaliating, Evan calmly sat there. When the kid started swinging at Evan, he just took a step back. Then something amazing happen, instead of being a push over, Evan reclaimed half of toy panel and played beside the other child. When the bratty kid started to spaz out, I just watched Evan. He just looked at him. His dad finally stepped in and shot daggers at me for not controlling my child, but he was in control the whole time. I was so proud that Evan stood up the bully and did not even fight back. He chose to fight by standing his ground and not begetting violence with violence. 

Bullying is a hot topic in both the media and politics these days.

With all the social media outlets, it is understandable since kids now can attack others so quickly and ruin others lives in a matter of seconds. I am so very grateful that Facebook was not around in HS because I would probably be an entirely different person. 

Being bullied most of my life, I want to raise a child that is strong and can handle an attack because I was never able to. So on one end of the spectrum we have kids that are bullied into weakness and on the other we have the bullies. I want Evan to be in the middle somewhere, so if his is bullied or attacked, he can defend himself. But he will also be able to use judgement when faced with a bullying situation.

This is something I didn't expect to deal with until 3rd grade or so. But bullies come in all shapes and sizes. My sister complained the other day that a boy in her class picks on her. She is only 4 and she was teased enough to come home with a long detailed story about it, she was sooo sad. It broke my heart.

I have worried that Evan was going to have behavioral issues. At a very young age, he would go into attack baby mode and beat up other poor defenseless infants. He also became a biter for a few months. I am so thankful that has stopped. He still gets into fights like a sibling over toys and chairs (he is very territorial about sitting) with my little sister, but he shows the most empathy I have ever seen. If she cries, he comforts her, if you show sadness or pain he will try to find out what's wrong. I couldn't ask for a better child.

Extended Breastfeeding, Attachment Parenting and the Working Mom

I like to think of myself as a pretty normal mom. But breastfeeding a rather large toddler, I can see why people can see why it is extreme. Attachment parenting is hot right now, I have yet to read Mayim Bialik's book Beyond the Sling, but I follow her blog at kveller. I love her, I mean who doesn't love Blossom and Amy Farrah Fowler? I like that she nurses her son beyond age 3. That is something I can see happening if Evan has his way. I agree with baby wearing, I just got a new carrier today, I was geeked and tried it on while Evan slept. I am so excited to back carry him now! It goes to 45 lbs so I can carry him til he's 4 if he wants. I also cosleep with Evan, but that came out of necessity rather than parenting style. This is where my similarities with Ms. Mayim end. She and so many others in the attached parenting camp also babyled wean, don't vaccinate, practice elimination communication, home-school, eat organically (especially vegan). All things I don't do. So does that make me a half attached parent?
I feel really strongly about vaccinations. Plain and simple, I don't want to see my child sick or hurting, especially if it could have been prevented.

The conversion of my new sling and the TIME magazine issue that comes out tomorrow has lead me to air my opinions and grievances. I subscribe to much of the attachment parenting theory, but from what I can tell, the typical attached parent has the luxury and fortitude to stay at home. What about us working parents? There is one piece in particular that struck a nerve with me. The author compares attached kids to daycare kids. I do the best for Evan but he is cared for 9 hours of each day by someone else and he spends over an hour and a half in the car commuting with me. Comparing the benefits of having an attached child to that of a child who attends daycare really labels us working moms as bad mommies. I am not a bad mom. I am doing the best I can.

My son is well loved and well cared for, even if I'm not doing the caring 24/7. I am supporting our little family and providing the best possible life for him that I can. The controversy over attachment parenting has once again striked up the mommy war of the SAHM and WOHM. Neither side is better. (I hope that squashed it.) I just know that at the end of the day, my son knows I love him and that I'll do anything for him. Even if that anything is carrying him on my back or feeding his giant self mommy milk... in public.