The 21st Century Baby

I get this all the time. Kids these days are so advanced. Well your baby has good head control because he's an advanced 21st century baby. WTH? I really don't get it. I mean people say stupid crap to me all the time, but this one is by far the most nonsensical. Trying to reason with people that say these things is an utter waste of time. I get it, we live in the digital age, yes Evan can perform basic functions on my iPhone. But you know what I bet a chimp could too.
I am pretty sure that Evan came into this world with the same MO as any other baby in the history of babies. Eat. Sleep. Poop.
When Evan was about a week old, I got my first "advanced". He had his eyes open and was looking around. To my knowledge this is an all babies in the history of babies thing. Human are not puppies and do not have sealed eyes for the first week or so.
Then around 2 months when Evan had remarkable head and neck control I got another "advanced". Again totally normal.
I kept getting "advanced" remarks off and on when Evan gabbed.
He scored poorly in subsequent "advanced" motor skills. He mastered head movement, pacifier return, and a spectacular sitting to belly swoop move early but hit all the rest of his milestones a tad bit late in the spectrum. Was my kid no longer advanced? When I talk about walking, its the early walkers that get the "advanced". But anecdotally,  I hear about many people older than me walking at 7,8,9 months. But they are not so advanced now. What happened? Were they ever regarded as advanced?

When do babies/kids stop being advanced? The first time they wreck something or show signs of laziness. When they don't live up to their potential? The way people are saying the word advanced; they use at as the kids are growing up too fast. Evan? he's right on track. He talks and jokes more than the average baby his age but he is still your average baby who doesn't know how to read or do long division. Kids are arguably not advanced at all. Test scores are down. No one under the age of 25 can spell worth a damn. I grew up without spell check. We had video games but we also played outside. With 2/3 of the adult population overweight or obese. We are not advanced. We are stagnant and worse backsliding.

Evan is an awesome kid, who knows maybe he'll become an entrepreneur. I don't think kids these days are advanced, they are just in a new normal of lazy/fat people that can work a computer better than anything else in their lives. You just don't see kids writing their first composition at 7 anymore, that my friends would be advanced.

Observing Evan

Evan is at stage where he investigates everything. He is learning cause and effect and independence. I love it. Between dinner and bedtime he did so much.

• At dinner I gave him soup and a sandwich. He dunked his sandwich in his soup and tried to self feed the soup. I was so impressed by his concentration.
• During bathtime (because he was covered in soup) he broke a toy. He tried so hard to put it back together. He spent nearly five minutes, which is a lot for a baby, trying to put it back together. He knew how the piece was supposed to fit. 
• He found his stuffed bunny before bed and immediately said bunny and cuddled it. We haven't practiced the word bunny in 2 weeks, since the last time he played with bunny.

I am impressed everyday by him. As he moves from being a baby to child, I am finally over the I-miss-him-being-little and I look forward to what he learns next.

Facebook Project: First Trimester

Here is what happened during my first trimester. I really like some of the statuses before I found out I was pregnant. I had tummy aches and toothaches.
Most frequent activity: Puking and having colds and being grumpy
Weird symptom of pregnancy: Rage and being fuzzy
Favorite/only food: Froot Loops

I wish my tummy didn't hurt so much.

November 21, 2009 at 7:27pm

I hate being sick... And I start my new job tomorrow. I hope UIC will take my new insurance so I can see my old GI doctor.

November 22, 2009 at 4:14pm

toothache... I get dental next tuesday!

November 25, 2009 at 7:58pm

i'm sick... i hate this.

November 29, 2009 at 3:34pm

why am I sick and I work for the department of public health? its like a disaster. I need to get vaccinated urgently.

November 30, 2009 at 1:22pm

chips and bloody marys for dinner!

November 30, 2009 at 7:32pm

 

Ok here's the news... I can't hide it forever... and secrets are hard to keep... I made a BABY!!! (If i currently work with you... please don't talk amongst yourselves... keep it to the std unit only)

December 12, 2009 at 7:23pm

Trying not to puke at work... this really really sucks.

December 14, 2009 at 9:01am

Grumpy, queasy, and tired for a long, long, time.

December 16, 2009 at 4:20pm

I did not puke my guts out this morning... and I feel ok so far!

December 17, 2009 at 8:41am

I hate wrapping presents... especially when my tummy hurts. All the time.

 · December 19, 2009 at 8:13pm

i puked on my foot... i'm ready to be done being pregnant...

 · December 24, 2009 at 3:18pm

I miss old school mega man.

 · December 27, 2009 at 9:06pm

SO GRUMPY...

 · December 28, 2009 at 3:17pm

not too sure if this baby is gonna like the egg nog I just drank... what was I thinking?

 · December 29, 2009 at 6:55pm

Rudolph's shiny new year! its my favorite. Might be baby new year's ears...

 · December 29, 2009 at 7:04pm

The baby does NOT like oreos.

 · December 30, 2009 at 9:06am

I have to wait a whole year to go iceskating now. I really really wanted to finally go this winter. Silly baby. Ruining all my plans... now and probably for the rest of my life.

 · December 30, 2009 at 3:05pm

Its official... i'm starting to show... I have a little baby bump. It looks like i'm smuggling a fanny pack!

 · January 3, 2010 at 7:00pm

I am outta Froot Loops... the baby is sad.

 · January 4, 2010 at 6:53pm

I now have 4 boxes of froot loops in my "pantry" and I have eaten 3 bowls already... the baby is happy now.

 · January 6, 2010 at 9:10am

I am sooooo sick. I just want to go home and sleep. Sucks that all I can take is tylenol too, cuz that really don't work too well on aches.

 · January 6, 2010 at 11:48am

I feel like crap... this cold is sooooooooo bad.

 · January 7, 2010 at 10:39am

Wake me up when this cold is over and everything is ok. I am miserable.

 · January 8, 2010 at 3:53pm

I want to go to Tokyo.

 · January 9, 2010 at 1:26pm

I miss the montgomery ward catalog...

 · January 9, 2010 at 5:18pm

So my cold is better but morning sickness is back with a vengeance! I can't even eat my breakfast.

 · January 11, 2010 at 8:59am

Why do they say 9 months when its really like 10? Which month doesn't count? This baby won't be outta me til august and I've been pregnant for just over 2 months... grr.

 · January 11, 2010 at 12:24pm

I miss Wendy's Chili... stupid stupid food allergy. (Don't say it mom... or I will have the pepper experiment at your house and you will have to take care of your poor miserable daughter.)

 · January 12, 2010 at 4:30pm

So I forgot to brush my hair before work this morning... whoops. Maybe i'll get around to it but probably not.

 · January 14, 2010 at 8:52am

Yesterday I saw this chick walking down the street in pajama pants and a t-shirt... and then I noticed she was also wearing rubber gloves... and she looked at me like what the F? Umm miss you are the one that is crazy.

 · January 16, 2010 at 1:09pm

Dammit... i started watching Jersey Shore... Its addictive.

 · January 18, 2010 at 8:05pm

So lately I've wanted to hurt people (like beat them up) and break/throw things at the drop of a hat. I hope these murderous rages are caused by hormones and not because I'm becoming a murderer.

 · January 19, 2010 at 8:55am

Muther F. I almost got into a car accident today. This bastard was up on my ass and honking, I couldn't see the oncoming traffic because some genius parked a truck ON the corner which I thought was illegal. Then I pulled up, some guy swerved barely missing me, and then the ass behind me just went around me. I wanted to jump out of my car, and open his car door and pull his hair so hard that scalp came with it.

 · January 20, 2010 at 11:15am

So I have this intense craving for baby food right now. (The fruit variety.) So I googled it to see if it was normal. And women actually go on baby food diets to lose weight. Really you are gonna eat baby food instead of a meal. Crazy.

 · January 21, 2010 at 11:03am

This baby is making me fuzzy and pimply... I'm a teenage boy right now. No one ever tells you this stuff. Pimples maybe but fur suit no.

 · January 21, 2010 at 7:39pm

I have the worst heartburn in the world right now... and what am I craving? Spicy tomato juice.

 · January 22, 2010 at 6:55pm

First prenatal appointment later today... its an hour long. But its about time I have one. Maybe I learn something about my baby.

 · January 25, 2010 at 8:22am

If i were a dude... i'd totally rock Pauly D's blow out.

 · January 25, 2010 at 1:02pm

My baby (there is probably only one... yes!) has a heartbeat! 157 beats per min.

 · January 25, 2010 at 7:05pm

horrible sleep and a bad bad commute to work... i hate morning sickness! It needs to go away not get worse.

 · January 26, 2010 at 8:54am

Rehydrating after yesterday. If I was anyone else you'd think this post was about too much drinking but alas its about a morning sickness-migraine combo.

 · January 27, 2010 at 9:50am

Day 3 of the pregnancy headache from hell tat i had hoped to avoid... atleast now its just a headache and not a puke fest.

 · January 28, 2010 at 8:37am

I can eat! I can eat! Yay!!!! No more liquid diet!!! Shout out to coffee and tylenol for curing my headache. Big ups to my tummy for finally cooperating. For anyone I forgot... thanks to you too.

 · January 28, 2010 at 12:57pm

i'm in desparate need of berry blue Kool-Aid.

 · January 29, 2010 at 8:57pm

I just had a sudden wave of grumpiness come over. It sucks cuz today is one of my favorite holidays.

 · February 2, 2010 at 3:02pm

I hate when people put a "shmear" on their bagels... call it what it is! Its cream cheese! OK?!

 · February 3, 2010 at 9:16am

I had a dream that I had really tan feet and ankles. And no amount of sun would tan the rest of me.

 · February 4, 2010 at 9:04am

Today, I got my first "Are you pregnant?"

 · February 5, 2010 at 7:32pm

I might take down the christmas tree today!

 · February 6, 2010 at 1:19pm

I had my first pregnancy glass of wine last night (very small one, say 3 to 4 oz, my baby's father made sure of it.) But now I have the worst headache ever. Maybe it was not the best idea ever but it was fun while it lasted.

 · February 6, 2010 at 3:44pm

Does this mean i need to make Super Bowl food? The baby hates cooking.

 · February 7, 2010 at 9:21am

Just when I thought it was safe... morning sickness strikes again. Shoot me.

 · February 8, 2010 at 8:46am

GROSS! I have pee in my belly. Just floating around. Baby Center told me "His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him -- a process he'll keep up until birth."

 · February 8, 2010 at 9:15am

I'm throw up...

 · February 8, 2010 at 6:24pm