Tonight Evan went to bed without nursing. About 2, maybe 3 nights a week, he will just snuggle to sleep. I am perfectly ok with that. It means there isn't a struggle, he can calm down without a boob, and he doesn't do his crazy half hour nursing ritual where he switches sides like 8 times. But if you tell that to a lactivist... you are doing it all wrong.
I may be a crazy hippy mom that still nurses her toddler but I'm not a pusher. I'm cool with breastfeeding, I think every baby should get a good 6 weeks of the good stuff, but it's not for everyone and can be really hard. I don't see not breastfeeding as a failure. There are perfectly healthy kids out there that *gasp* drank formula. Even Evan has had a little supplementation of formula and now that I have ended my my sordid relationship with my pump he gets cow milk. It takes more than shelling out your hard earned money for formula to make you a bad parent.
One of my dear friends had run ins with lactivists when her son was very little. They gave her a really hard time for not breastfeeding in public, among other things. I felt so sad for her. I was fortunate enough to not encounter too many lactivists until just recently. (See my post on why I hate lactation consultants here.) Recently I joined a FB group for breastfeeding moms hoping to get more information about extended breastfeeding, what I got was a ton of super opinionated weirdos. Everyone has crazy ideas, my suggestions are always wrong, even if they are words of encouragement and they are militant. Drives me nuts.
Here are the top 3 strangest things I read in the past couple of weeks (I'm summarizing here.)
1.Use your breastmilk for other things. If your baby has a diaper rash put breastmilk on it. Eye infection? try breastmilk. Sore throat? take a swig. Constipated older kid? Have a glass of the good stuff.
Really? really? I'm all for the magical boobie milk but last time I checked, it was food.
2. Pacifiers lead to early weaning, you should really comfort nurse. Before Evan was born, I was antipacifier because I read it inhibits a good latch. Well in the beginning it's always a struggle pacifier or not. Evan loves his pacifier but he's also a milk junkie and won't give up either. And the comfort nursing thing, I can list 10 million other things I would rather do than have my boob in my kid's mouth all day because he wants it. Banging my head against a wall is on my list of things I'd rather do before becoming a human pacifier.
3. Give your milk to an older child, even if its not your own. This woman gave milk to her 4 y/o nephew because he was not feeling well. I think its gross. I doubt that if preschooler Evan wasn't feeling well and I had a lil nursling, I would give him milk. I would reach for the Robitussin before the milk supply. There is a reason kids wean, besides I'm not going to give him milk til he's 20, at least I hope not.
I'm with you that I think everybody just has to do what works for them, no judgments. Though I'm aware some people are squeamish. It's a cultural thing, too. It doesn't bother me either way. But I've actually heard some of the things you list. None of them get my stamp of approval, but I'm also not militantly opposed...they probably work for someone. PS Kelly and I tease that I should become an LC. Like the one on The Office...tell me you've seen that episode--same one where she nurses the wrong baby in the hospital. lol
ReplyDeleteI absolutely looove your blog!! I'm also a working mom who breastfeeds, cosleeps, and sometimes tries a cloth diaper or two but I am really turned off by all those militant breastfeed, cloth diaper, attachment parents who judge anyone who does things differently from them. It honestly makes me not want to do those things sometimes because I don't want to be associated with them. I do what works for me and my family and want everyone else to do the same!
ReplyDeleteThank you for finding my blog. I feel honored. I really can't stand people that push their views onto unsuspecting mothers. The FB Group is still going strong with their agenda and making new moms feel bad about occasional formula and whatnot. This weekend I am going to a cloth diaper event so it will be the first time I really associate with other CD moms in real life. I am scared of their hypercrunchiness wish me luck.
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